FACTS & OPINIONS

Please note; this Blog is primarily for me to vent my opinions and relay my experiences as a jobbing caricaturist, but any specific names and figures quoted are based on factual evidence and nothing is simply anecdotal. Please read carefully, enjoy and feel free to comment.

I do not aim to cause offence, simply to raise debate. Someone has to put the cat amongst the pigeons!!!!

…and if I sound bitter, its ‘cos I am! Caricaturing is my life and all the issues raised on this Blog affect my life directly, SO I’LL MOAN IF I LIKE!

SIN BIN!

Following a spate of awkward or non-paying agents/customers in 2007, I thought it might be nice to publish a list of (in my opinion) undesirable Entertainment Agents and Companies for all to see and heed. Not wishing to bite the hand that feeds me, I am listing only the worst offenders. Please feel free to add to my list, but any claims must be substantiated:

“Allegedly”…..

• TOP HAT INTERNATIONAL, Rochelle Leader – non-payer***
• TASTE EVENTS,  Mark Sharer – non-payer***
• THE EVENT COMPANY - time waster, late payer**
• 1st CHOICE, Mandy – unethical, time waster, rude*
• THEMED EVENTS, Johnny Simmons - non-payer***
• PROMOTIONAL EDGE - late payers **
• HEMMINGS LEISURE, Leslie Hemmings – non-payer***
• BB EVENTS – Unethical*
• PRIMA ARTISTES - Bad Attitude*
• ADD Ltd, (Harrow) – non-payer***
• JAC STRATTONS, (Finchley) – time waster, non-payer***
• DIOUFY FOUNDATION, (Bolton) – non-payer ***  

*** Avoid at all costs,  **  At your peril,  * I wouldn’t

Please note – I accept no responsibility for false allegations or mud-slinging!

I wanna hire a Caricature

Over the years I have smiled and suffered a string of poorly phrased enquiries, via both email and telephone, despite the fact that each year I spend a fortune making sure my website has every possible question covered and clearly states my abilities and performance details…. Complete with examples of my work, my CV, FAQs and References, yet still some folks just ignore everything and plough into their inane enquiries:

• “I wanna hire a Caricature for my Wedding”

The word is Caricaturist, you wouldn’t hire an Art afterall!

• “Are you any good?”

Please see the many Gallery pages available on your monitor.

• “Are you fast?”

Don’t confuse speed with quality.

• “How many caricatures can you knock out in 2 hours? I have 200 guests”

 As many as is possible in the circumstances, NOT 200!! I’m an entertainer, not a machine.

• “I’ll supply the pre-printed paper” 

Paper is one of my tools, do you supply tools and instruments for all your entertainers/contractors? I prefer to control my own quality.

• “You don’t draw colour? Know anyone who does?”

How long is a piece of string? There are a plethora of colour artists, you should choose one whose style you like, not just put a pin in a directory!

• “I’m on a limited budget; I hired a Magician for £50, can you match him?”

You can hire a Face Painter for £25, but don’t dare compare me to them! Do you want quality or prefer to disappoint your guests?

• “I’m just shopping round for prices (don’t care if ya good or shit!)“

Thanks for noticing my talent. I’m more ya Selfridges not Aldi, so keep shopping Delboy!!

In most cases I’m sure they haven’t even looked at my credentials or drawings!!

I find myself having to justify my fees and abilities with more and more frequency, which can be difficult to explain to a punter who’s only experience of a Caricaturist may have been on the Seafront, on holiday, where they were presumably fleeced by an amateur who took 20 minutes and charged £5!!

On further contemplation I found my predicament bared comparison to that suffered by musical entertainers. Could you imagine therefore how ridiculous those enquiries would sound if we used a musical metaphore and replaced the word ‘Caricature’ with ‘Music’. The enquiries might go as follows:

“Dear Mr Nigel Kennedy….

• I wanna hire a Music for  my Wedding
• Are you any good?
• Are you fast?
• How many musics can you knock out in 2 hours? I have 200 guests
• I’ll supply the Banjo
• You don’t play Country & Western? Know anyone who does?
• I’m on a limited budget; My mate is gonna play his Yamaha for £50… can you match him?
• I’m just shopping around for prices (don’t care if ya good or shit!)….”

Do ya think Nigel Kennedy would take that booking? Not comparing myself to such a virtuoso, just using a well known name as an example. However, why can’t people realise that caricaturists are talented entertainers and specialists in their field… not seaside freaks on a production line! AND THE WORD IS “CARICATURIST“!!!!

How about if they were hiring a wedding car instead of a wedding caricaturist?

• “I wanna hire a Car for my Wedding”
• “Is ya car any good?”
• “Is it fast?”
• “How many can you squeeze in? I’ve got 200 guests”
• “I’m on a limited budget. I hired a chocolate fountain for £50, can you match it?”
• “I’m just shopping around for prices (don’t care what if the car is a banger!)“

Any other amusing analogies out there?? 

• “I wanna hire a Plumb to fit my kitchen… I’ve got £50″ 
• “I wanna hire an Electric to wire my house… I’ve got £50″
• “I wanna hire a Comedy to entertain my 200 guests, need 200 jokes, don’t care if ya crap… I’ve got £50″

Etc etc etc etc etc etc etc

You Must Love This…

How many times each night do I hear a client say “You must love what you do, what a fab job?!”

I love my job and what a fab job indeed; I get to travel the UK (& the world) drawing new people, attending star studded events and being paid to take the piss!… In theory. However I then go on to explain to my customer that my job does not simply consist of my happily scribbling on a pad and laughing my way to the bank. The best way I describe my job is as follows:

 

1. “Have you ever taken a driving exam that lasts 3 hours… at least twice a week?”
2. “Imagine having a job interview every 5 minutes and having to to get the job EVERY time or risk going hungry that week”
3. “Ever had your boss stand over your shoulder and critique every aspect of your work, every 5 minutes, every working day?”
4. “Has your boss ever said to you ‘The last person who did your job was great, I’ll have to compare your performance before I pay you’”
5. “Ever turned up for work (often a 125 mile drive) to discover your Boss has ‘changed their mind’ and you go home unpaid?”
6. “Do you get threatened on your way to your car after a hard day’s work, just because you won’t work unpaid overtime?”

I DO!

Having said that, I do love my work and wouldn’t have it any other way. I just wish customers would realise that in order to do what I do, I must be all of the following:

• Artist
• Comedian
• Performer
• Public Speaker
• Diplomat
• Charmer
• Image Consultant
• Accountant
• Business manager
• Marketing Manager
• Human Resources Manager
• IT Consultant
• Bouncer
• Driver
• Able to work under pressure, ignore criticism, avoid violence, produce excellence upon demand, under extreme circumstances and in alien environments… and remain smiling!!

If people took these skills into consideration, they might stop comparing me to some street performer or vagrant! Oh well, back to the old drawing board…

Agencies… AGAIN!

As artists and entertainers I’m sure we are all familliar with the need for Entertainment Agents, to help sell our services. Over the years many have come and gone, often leaving huge debts in their wakes. A new breed of Internet Agents are emerging, cornering the caricaturist market by buying up all available ‘CARICATURIST’ relevant domain names and keywords, then re-selling them to us (the artists) by asking us to ‘BID’ for the cheapest performance price. Famously 1st Choice were (ironically) the first to cotton on to this trend and have fallen out with many professional artists as a result. Myself included.

The practice of cornering the Caricaturist online market, then publishing minimum prices for all to see and outbid is frankly abhorant and I condemn it whole heartedly! One Agency Website had me listed as £325, alongside a snot-nosed student amateur for £215… how and why should I compete with this? I instead promote the art of caricature, encouraging artists to polish up their game and compete either on a locality or quality basis. Frankly if you ain’t good enough to compete with the top UK artists, you simply shouldn’t be in the business!!!

Today I was once again approached by a familliar agency, asking me for prices to publish on their NEW caricaturist website “Book-A-Caricaturist”….. I refused and instead have vowed to wipe this practice out of business. I urge all artists reading this to do the same, it can only be good for all of us;

If we co-operate and publish prices:

A) The cheapest, possibly poorest quality or most heavily subsidised (part-time) artists will benefit.

B) The agencies will benefit by adding a higher commission and cornering a market they know very little about.

C) The higher priced artists will be forced to drop prices and possibly go out of business because of the lack of direct internet interest.

However, if we (The Artists) all boycott these charlatan websites, who are NOT looking after OUR interests and offer NO professional loyalty:

A) The ‘Super-Sites’ will disappear from online Google searches, leaving genuine caricaturists’ sites more coverage.

B) We the artists will control our OWN rates instead of bowing to Agency price wars.

C) The cheaper, less professional, poor business minded artists will be forced to shape up or get out!

D) The art of caricature will be promoted to the highest of OUR abilities, exhibiting our fine quality art and entertainment.

Why should I publish my Discounted Agency rate online? How many times have I had to deal with irate Agents, asking why my rates have been published elsewhere?

Lets take control of our own destiny! Please read this, consider the implications of a Super-Site price war, then join my thinking and boycott these sites!!!

Unplugged??

Felt the need to vent my thoughts on life and alternative lifestyles in particular… Ever wondered why I am a little odd, not quite the round peg? Visit my latest blog and check out my brain-food  http://unpluggedthoughts.wordpress.com/

This is a PERSONAL blog, not professional, so if ya don’t wanna know me, don’t go there!

Friends and Aliens

Over the years I have come to realise that my clients fall into two camps; Friends and Aliens; Those who treat me as a friend, those who make me feel as welcome as a space alien!

I realise I am slightly ‘off-the-norm’ and my appearance may intimidate some people, but am I alone in this phenomenon? Have any other caricaturists bowled up to a client, with smiling face and out-stretched hand, to be greeted with indifference or even ignored??   Why does one client offer me coffee, alcohol, food and conversation and another client expect me to starve while ignoring my presence?

See my latest entry here http://spotongeorge.wordpress.com/diary-of-a-caricaturist/

Comments please….

Under-pricing

OK, I’ve officially had enough!!! In a tough economic climate, we all have to tighten our belts and be flexible with our prices, but some artists out there are guilty of under-pricing, which is ruining the market for all of us!

Today I was approached by an Agency who’d been let down by another artist, due to ‘family illness’. The booking was for 3 hours, North UK, fee was £215!! I’m guessing, but I suspect the artist in question under-priced himself then was offered a more lucrative booking elsewhere. A more experienced artist would never have quoted for so little, especially in mid-wedding season and would certainly never have let down the hand that feeds him.

For God’s sake people, lets keep a reign on this and school these unscrupulous traders, before they put us all out of business. Anyone disagree with me on this????

What Are You Worth?

If anyone out there struggles with pricing their services and has not taken a basic business course, please visit this Blog for some basic tips and advice.

http://www.typepad.com/services/trackback/6a00d8341cccd753ef011571072114970b

 

Artist should know better…

When I looked closely at one highly ranked (Google) Super-market style Agency site recently, I noticed the price structure. I Quote:

Adam Hanson £215,  Mickey Toones £220, Neil Thomson £240, MH* £220, RC* £220 for 2 hours!!  All figures quoted are gross – BEFORE agency commission!

I was gob-smacked!  After nearly 19 years in the trade, I’m still having to contend with Agencies promoting bargain basement services by publishing cheapest available artist prices, like a menu at McDonalds! As if 1st Choice weren’t enough to battle against, with their ‘Bid for a Job’ price-war structure, I’ve just about had enough!  If I find one instance of another budget artist publishing such stupidly cheap rates I’m gonna have serious words!! This is my living – MY LIFE and I’m not about to roll over and let some low budget charlatans ruin what has become an excellent way of life for so many of us.

Chicken or Egg? Do we hold the artists accountable for lowering their prices or the Agents who tell them thats all they’re worth? I know its business, but COME ON!!

As a community we should be nurturing and teaching the next generation their worth. Perhaps some of the above named (*veteran) artists could lead by example? I’m happy to welcome new-blood into our community, but if they keep undercutting the market I’m afraid I’ll raise the drawbridge and prepare for battle.

So what about quality? I will continue pitching to the upper end of the market, providing them with a polished entertainment package and let the Bargain Basement Traders squabble over the scraps. Time will tell who has the gumption, the reputation, the talent and commitment to stick around. Until then, my knives will be sharpened and my oil on the stove!!

Unethical plagiarists!

GREG OWENS

Gregori or Caricatures4U decided to take the short cut to promoting his website, by copying my homepage definitions, word for word. I know this because I made up the definition for Caricaturist!:

“Caricature*: to ape, imitate with derision. comic exaggeration – (the art of making) a drawing, description, or performance that exaggerates somebody’s or something’s characteristics for humorous or satirical effect. [Mid-18th century. < Italian caricatura < caricare "exaggerate, load" < late Latin carricare] -MSN Encarta
Caricaturist: Parodist, gifted creator of caricatures.
*alternative mis-spellings; characature, characterture, charicature, characaturist, characterturist, charicaturist, characterist, caracature, caracaturist, charicterturist, caracaturist, characatatrist”

I realise these definitions are not copyright, I have borrowed text myself before (thanks Jed) but I find this plagiarisn both rude and lazy. Thanks for the compliment Greg but you’re officially a cheeky twat!

BB EVENTS

Cheeky bastards!!!  After browsing the internet, as I do, I came across an agency site (BB Events), advertising Caricaturist Hire. I read on and thought ‘this looks familiar’;

“Spot On Caricatures. Caricaturist for hire by the hour for quick draw on-the-spot Caricatures at Weddings, Exhibition Stands, International Conferences and Summits, Open Days, Product Launches, Corporate Functions, PR Events, After Show Parties and Celebrations. Digital drawn caricatures are ideal crowd pleasers at exhibitions and on-the-spot caricatures are excellent Wedding Entertainment, filling those wedding reception lulls. Quick draw Wedding caricatures make great wedding favours and help make your wedding day unique.”

The cheeky feckers had stolen my site Meta Tags, site introduction and pasted some crap piece of generic artwork below it. Any agent that steals from its artists without permission is beneath contempt as far as I am concerned, so I recommend you give these Charlatans a wide berth!!

**BB Events**

the WEDDING ARTIST – New Site!!

At last! I’ve mastered the art of building a basic website, you can see the results online in my new site http://www.wedding-artist.co.uk

Talented Carix of the world

Wanna see a selection of (arguably) the world’s finest carix? This guy is putting together an impressive selection of talented artists. Take a look;  www.caricaturasworld.blogspot.com

 

Anyone need a talented Acryllic artist?

I can’t help but notice the massive influx of new acryllic caricaturists on the scene lately. My trawls on the internet have come across some stunningly fine artists, all of whom could easily pass for a servicable Kruger-alike. I am massively envious of these painting talents and wish I could’ve mastered their techniques at an earlier age. Perhaps I might have trodden the same Krugeresque path.

Please take a look at these guys and tell me if you can spot the difference between their styles and that of say Derrin Brown:

Neil Davies  http://www.caricatureclub.co.uk/

Jason Seiler  http://www.jasonseilerillustration.blogspot.com/

Paul Moyse  http://www.wackyfeatures.co.uk/

Tony Parsons  http://www.twistedportrait.co.uk/

Jon Moss  http://www.wittygraphy.com/members/jonmoss/profile

Jan Op de Beeck  http://www.opdebeeck.com/caricatures.html

All incredibly talented, hats off to you guys, keep painting! Guess I’ll stick to my vectors….

Anyone wanna throw up some more equally talented Kruger protigees??